Reminder

Kobe, 10 february 2009

I found out that it will be quite hard to take you here in Japan, my love. I cannot take any other options than living with all of us together or not at all. My heart is all yours, I simply cannot live anyone behind, not Fatih, nor Husna, neither Fauzan. It's strange for me to call Fauzan, because this is the first day he has a name :).

I cried so long that I still have my eyes redden even after 6 hours. And when I called you, you were also crying, that's the most expensive cries since we spent minutes on the phone just to listen each other crying.

You sent me a message,
"Sayang,bahagia adl pilihn hdp.Dia bkn takdr.smg dg ini qt mkn sdr kuasa Alloh atas qt.betapa tdk berdayax qt.tp yknlah Alloh g prnh mau bkn yg trbaik mnimpa qt.Alloh maux qt sll mdpt yg trbaik.Mnta bimbingn Alloh y sayangq,hadirkn Alloh dsetiap pilihn qt spy sll mdpt prlindungnX."

So I read your green letter, "Seorang Muslim tidak mengeluh saat mendapat ujian karena tau Alloh punya maksud yang baik. Karena ujian adalah jalan untuk mengatasi kondisi yang akan terjadi dan diganti dengan yang lebih baik, walaupun tidak bisa kita pahami saat itu terjdi. Saat hal yang kita inginkan tidak dikabulkn oleh Alloh pasti Alloh memberi yang lebih baik dari yang kita inginkan. Sehingga nantinya kita menjadi sosok yang tidak mudah menyerah, tidak takut dan selalu bahagia karena Alloh tidak mau hal yang bukan terbaik terjadi pada manusia."

Umi, you are the best. I Love You!!!

My son,

Today is your first day you passes your life, you were born Wednesday, February 4, 2009 (8 Shafar 1430 Hijriyah), at 16.30 WIB in Banyuwangi, in the hand of our nurse, Lek Tin. Remember this day!

I don't know what to call you. Last time your mother want to name you as Sulthon Muhammad Al-Faruq. Then your grannie said that the nickname will not sound good, as Javanese like to shorten names. So your Mom ask for suggestions in her SMS. I proposed Umar Abdul Azis to remind us about the greatness of The Prophets (pbuh) companions. Let it be your Mom to decide.

She is too tired now, so let her sleep. I don't want to wake her up eventhough I miss her so much. Much more than before. I put abundant sympathies on her, and feeling sorry that I could not give the best for her. I really wish that I could take her pain, and put my life at risk to replace her sacrifices.

My Son, remember this!
No matter how much you can give, never will you be able to give her back what she has given to you.